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There are other ways to bring a woman to orgasm , of course, but this is where I encourage you to start. The clitoris is, unfortunately, the victim of censorship.

Mainstream media often has a hard time embracing the word and wants to censor or remove it from their dialogue, which suppresses the discussion about the specific realities of female sexual pleasure.

This angers me. Get her juices flow before engaging her bell skin-to-skin. Her body needs time to get physically aroused, and most often that takes longer than it does for men.

Cup her groin in one hand on the outside of her clothing and place your four fingers on her warmest area. Now, press your fingers against her in series of slow, even and medium-depth pulses.

Light pressure is too insignificant. Heavy ones can hurt, but women sometimes prefer this. Keep kissing her while you touch her down there.

Combining pleasures is a skill, and an incredible one when done right. Now that there's less fabric between your fingers and her, you can alternate pressing and rubbing her bell in a circular motion.

Oh yeah. If you're new to this type of sex, it's important to choose partners that are understanding and supportive of your hand virginity.

Be honest that this is new to you to create an atmosphere of communication and understanding. And no matter how many times you've done this, it's still important to replicate this environment with each new partner like we said, everyone's different.

That said, it's also helpful to establish a baseline of fingering skills. So here are nine tips on how to finger someone in a pleasurable manner.

Fingering can be uncomfortable if the receiving partner is not properly aroused, since vaginal lubrication is key to comfortable penetration. While everyone and every situation is different, tantric sex coach Devi Ward says to give those with vaginas 20 to 45 minutes to reach full arousal.

So while foreplay sex acts before penetrative sex often includes fingering, to be an expert at sex with your hands, think of fingering as another form of penetrative sex, and tack on the foreplay before inserting fingers.

Kiss, caress your partner's breasts, touch their inner thighs, or do whatever works for them to create a state of arousal. Foreplay can get someone wet, but there are many factors that affect vaginal self-lubrication.

Women going through menopause experience vaginal dryness due to hormone changes ; anti-estrogen medications used to treat endometriosis can also create vaginal dryness ; and some report vaginal dryness as a side effect of anti-anxiety medications.

Vaginas can be finicky. Sometimes, even with no medical explanations, they just don't get as wet as you or your partner would like.

Thankfully, you don't need to rely on natural lubricant, because there are plenty you can buy. Of course, there are people out there who stigmatize lube based on an unrealistic expectation that all vagina-owners should be able to lubricate naturally at all times.

But here's the truth: Lube makes sex more pleasurable for lots of women , regardless of their age or medical status.

So if you or your partner needs it, get some and enjoy. Getting over your own fear of lube is worth saving your partner from a chaffed vagina.

Prior to penetration, break out your DJ-ing skills and take two fingers your index and middle and flatten them like a DJ would on a turntable.

Then, gently use your fingers to rub your partner's clitoris in circular motions, increasing speed and intensity gradually.

In addition to the hand motion, an Usher greatest hits playlist probably isn't a bad idea, either. After your partner is turned on, properly lubricated, and had their clitoris nicely rubbed, it's time to proceed with penetration.

Have her lie between your legs, on her back, with her feet close to the wall or headboard. You can easily swap between hands, if one arm starts to get a little fatigued.

You can also stay in this position for a long time. Before you even venture near her vulva, spend plenty of time teasing her and getting her excited for more contact.

So many people men especially underestimate the lead-up, but many women say that the teasing is their favorite part of being fingered.

Spend tons of time kissing her and playing with the rest of her body. Grind your body against her crotch. Take her pants off, but leave her underwear on.

Run your palm up and down her labia. When you take her underwear off, continue using your entire hand to stroke against her labia, without parting them.

Finally, part her labia with one fingertip, and continue that back and forth motion. Lube prevents any uncomfortable pulling or tugging of the skin, and also amplifies the sensation.

I think silicone-based lubricant feels best against the skin, especially for fingering. I highly recommend investing in a nice bottle to keep in your bedside table.

Most women love clitoral stimulation, and need it to reach orgasm. Start off by slowly circling her clitoris, without directly touching it.

Make your circles tighter and tighter, until you start grazing against the clitoris. If she pulls away or tells you to be softer, stick with the indirect stimulation.

If she likes the more direct stimulation, you can continue the circular motion directly over her clitoris.

Or try stroking a finger diagonally across her clitoris. Although clitoral stimulation is typically what feels best for women, you still want to get other parts of her body involves.

How to finger a woman videos

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